Tuesday, July 28, 2009

New Home Construction...

Good evening....it's after midnight. Jonathan has been gone for 14 days. He is due to return tomorrow afternoon so, like the little kid in the Disney commercial - "I'm too excited to sleep!"

I have been preparing for the Acts 29 Houston Bootcamp and came across this quote from C.S. Lewis...I just had to share it.

"Imagine yourself living in a house.
God comes in to rebuild that house.
At first, perhaps, you can understand what He is doing. He is getting the drains right and stopping the leaks in the roof and so on. But presently He starts knocking the house about in a way that hurts abominably and does not seem to make any sense.
What on Earth is He up to?
The explanation is that He is building quite a different house from the one you thought of - throwing out a new wing here, putting on an extra florr there, running up towers, making courtyards.
You thought you were going to be made into a decent little cottage;
but He is building a palace."

How fun is this!!??!!

I have been reflecting a lot lately - duh, I've got a blog now - and this quote pretty much sums up what's been running through my mind. After such a crazy 18 months, I am now able to see so much progress and growth in my own heart that I'm almost thankful for that painful season. (I said "almost" so please don't expect too much from me too soon! wink.) I am beginning to see alot of what Lewis is talking about.....I am learning to sit quietly, to listen, and to pray in ways that before have been unknown to me. What a blessing. If it takes tears to produce true joy, put me in that house!

If you're a pastor's wife, I hope you'll take 1 of 2 actions after reading this Lewis quote:
1. If your house is currently "under massive construction", I pray that you will find...actually SEEK OUT, a woman who is trustworthy to share your experience. You need the strength of another when you're all out of your own.

2. If your house is getting a reprieve (and I'm sure it's only momentary), please take the time to reflect and rejoice. Recount to the Lord the amazing things He has done in your life and your heart. Then, please take the time to encourage and pray with someone 'under construction.' We need each other, don't we. ? .

"Look among the nations, and watch; and be utterly amazed.
For I am doing something in your days that you would not believe, even if you were told." Habakkuk 1:5

I'm so excited at this thought - whatever we're going through, something awesome IS happening...not just in our churches, but in US! Yay!


(Sorry, the book I'm reading didn't reference which Lewis book the quote is from...if you know, please share!)

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Power of Perspective

Well, last week was crazy for my family. We drove 5 hours to Tyler, spend two hours with my grandmother before she passed away, and then drove back. We spent 24 hours at home preparing our schedules for the trip back to Tyler for the visitation Wednesday and funeral Thursday. Our schedules, as these things go, also included preparing Jonathan for a trip to Uganda next week, a rehearsal dinner and lingerie shower on Thursday night, a bridesmaids brunch Friday morning, a wedding Friday night, a bible study in my home Saturday morning, Sewing Lessons on Saturday afternoon IN ADDITION to hosting 3 women on Thursday night and another 3 women on Friday night who were coming in town for the wedding mentioned earlier. I quickly became overwhelmed. I don't think I'm crazy to think that my overwhelmedness is understandable...can I hear an "amen?"!!!

Well, I'll make this extremely long story a very short story for you and say that somehow, some miraculous way, we were able to get everything done - make it to every appointment - and attend to every obligation. This was truly a miracle...if you know me well, you know that my strong points are NOT details, so I am truly thankful that the Lord pulled all this together for me...in such a way that I was truly able to enjoy myself at a most wonderful wedding despite having had only about 15 hours of sleep the entire week.

So, now I'm finally at the good part....during the wedding reception, I spent some time with a fellow church planter's wife, Kelli Skinner.

Kelli is a long-time acquaintance of mine that I have always admired for being a strong woman of faith. She and her husband James have been church planting for about 10 years...they are currently at Crossroads Church of Ruston, Louisiana. After about 30 minutes with her, my perspective on my perspective has completely changed....crazy!

I remember learning the following phrase in a business course in college:
"one's perception is one's reality - regardless of reality."

I think that somehow I've been living out this sentence.

As Kelli and I talked, I expected to hear stories from a seasoned pastor's wife who has "arrived." I expected Kelli to be completely at peace, completely comfortable in her role, and completely content. I mean, come on, she's been at this for 10 years - she should for sure be able to give me a time line for what comes next and at what point our lives will settle down and become 'normal.'

In reality - Kelli is very much in the same position I am. She is still struggling to figure out her role, she is still working out a balance between church life and family life, she is still hurting from painful relationships, she is still lonely, and...her eyes still well up when asked, "how are you?"

I couldn't believe it. Kelli Skinner, one of the wisest and kindest people I know, is in the same situation as me and feeling the same emotions as me.

You would think that I would be discouraged by this, but I'm not. In fact, I'm very excited about this....
Ever since we started planting, I have labeled certain days and certain seasons as either "I hate my life days" or "the-walls-are-caving-in-days." After talking with Kelli, I realized that my perspective has been wrong, that I have been misreading the situation all this time.

My walls have not been caving in, I have just been placed in a very narrow room. The second situation is far better. Caving walls will consume and crush me. A narrow room is just a narrow room. It may be uncomfortable and I may be claustrophobic at times, but I can adjust to it's size. I will be okay.

This has been a huge freeing lesson for me.
By simply changing my perspective and seeing rightly into my situation, I have found freedom. I can breathe now. I can let go of some of the fear that I've been hanging on to knowing that it will not devour me. The room is still narrow - my troubles didn't mysteriously go away - but I have a lot more freedom than before!

You may remember a man in the gospel of Mark who was given sight after being touched by Jesus. Jesus touched him once, and he could see but only slightly. Then, Jesus touched him a second time and he could see perfectly. (Mark 8:25)

My prayer for myself and for you is that we will continue to seek the Lord's hand on our eyes so that we can receive perfect vision. That because we have received Sight, we are no longer overcome by heartache, bitterness and fear - but instead, we are able to live in His freedom and thereby extend grace to help and mercy for those in need.....




Okay, so I've been meaning to visit my blog for a L-O-N-G time...but it turns out, you must have the correct email address and password to login to your own blog. Who knew!?! Well, I finally figured out which address created this blog, so here I am!!!

I learned something REALLY cool Friday night from another Church Planter's Wife - I can't wait to share that with you....stay tuned, that's coming this evening once my little ones are tucked neatly away in their dirty beds that I haven't washed in a couple of weeks...shhhh, please don't tell anyone!

For now, I wanted to post a link to an Acts 29 Bootcamp that is coming to Houston, TX, in September....I just found out that I'll be leading the Women's Track for that....CRAZY!....so I thought I'd let all of you know about it in case you'd like to come out. There are some amazing speakers lined up: Matt Chandler, Matt Carter, Jonathan Dodson (oh, love him, he's my favorite one).

http://www.acts29network.org/event/2009-09-15-houston-boot-camp--houston-tx/

The "theme" for this bootcamp is ENDURE. I am just really excited about this. If you've read any of my other posts, you are well aware that the "enduring" part of all this planter's wife stuff is the hardest for me.

So, check this out - let me know if you can come and I'll save you a front row seat...or a back row seat if you prefer!