Well, last week was crazy for my family. We drove 5 hours to Tyler, spend two hours with my grandmother before she passed away, and then drove back. We spent 24 hours at home preparing our schedules for the trip back to Tyler for the visitation Wednesday and funeral Thursday. Our schedules, as these things go, also included preparing Jonathan for a trip to Uganda next week, a rehearsal dinner and lingerie shower on Thursday night, a bridesmaids brunch Friday morning, a wedding Friday night, a bible study in my home Saturday morning, Sewing Lessons on Saturday afternoon IN ADDITION to hosting 3 women on Thursday night and another 3 women on Friday night who were coming in town for the wedding mentioned earlier. I quickly became overwhelmed. I don't think I'm crazy to think that my overwhelmedness is understandable...can I hear an "amen?"!!!
Well, I'll make this extremely long story a very short story for you and say that somehow, some miraculous way, we were able to get everything done - make it to every appointment - and attend to every obligation. This was truly a miracle...if you know me well, you know that my strong points are NOT details, so I am truly thankful that the Lord pulled all this together for me...in such a way that I was truly able to enjoy myself at a most wonderful wedding despite having had only about 15 hours of sleep the entire week.
So, now I'm finally at the good part....during the wedding reception, I spent some time with a fellow church planter's wife, Kelli Skinner.
Kelli is a long-time acquaintance of mine that I have always admired for being a strong woman of faith. She and her husband James have been church planting for about 10 years...they are currently at Crossroads Church of Ruston, Louisiana. After about 30 minutes with her, my perspective on my perspective has completely changed....crazy!
I remember learning the following phrase in a business course in college:
"one's perception is one's reality - regardless of reality."
I think that somehow I've been living out this sentence.
As Kelli and I talked, I expected to hear stories from a seasoned pastor's wife who has "arrived." I expected Kelli to be completely at peace, completely comfortable in her role, and completely content. I mean, come on, she's been at this for 10 years - she should for sure be able to give me a time line for what comes next and at what point our lives will settle down and become 'normal.'
In reality - Kelli is very much in the same position I am. She is still struggling to figure out her role, she is still working out a balance between church life and family life, she is still hurting from painful relationships, she is still lonely, and...her eyes still well up when asked, "how are you?"
I couldn't believe it. Kelli Skinner, one of the wisest and kindest people I know, is in the same situation as me and feeling the same emotions as me.
You would think that I would be discouraged by this, but I'm not. In fact, I'm very excited about this....
Ever since we started planting, I have labeled certain days and certain seasons as either "I hate my life days" or "the-walls-are-caving-in-days." After talking with Kelli, I realized that my perspective has been wrong, that I have been misreading the situation all this time.
My walls have not been caving in, I have just been placed in a very narrow room. The second situation is far better. Caving walls will consume and crush me. A narrow room is just a narrow room. It may be uncomfortable and I may be claustrophobic at times, but I can adjust to it's size. I will be okay.
This has been a huge freeing lesson for me.
By simply changing my perspective and seeing rightly into my situation, I have found freedom. I can breathe now. I can let go of some of the fear that I've been hanging on to knowing that it will not devour me. The room is still narrow - my troubles didn't mysteriously go away - but I have a lot more freedom than before!
You may remember a man in the gospel of Mark who was given sight after being touched by Jesus. Jesus touched him once, and he could see but only slightly. Then, Jesus touched him a second time and he could see perfectly. (Mark 8:25)
My prayer for myself and for you is that we will continue to seek the Lord's hand on our eyes so that we can receive perfect vision. That because we have received Sight, we are no longer overcome by heartache, bitterness and fear - but instead, we are able to live in His freedom and thereby extend grace to help and mercy for those in need.....
Well, I'll make this extremely long story a very short story for you and say that somehow, some miraculous way, we were able to get everything done - make it to every appointment - and attend to every obligation. This was truly a miracle...if you know me well, you know that my strong points are NOT details, so I am truly thankful that the Lord pulled all this together for me...in such a way that I was truly able to enjoy myself at a most wonderful wedding despite having had only about 15 hours of sleep the entire week.
So, now I'm finally at the good part....during the wedding reception, I spent some time with a fellow church planter's wife, Kelli Skinner.
Kelli is a long-time acquaintance of mine that I have always admired for being a strong woman of faith. She and her husband James have been church planting for about 10 years...they are currently at Crossroads Church of Ruston, Louisiana. After about 30 minutes with her, my perspective on my perspective has completely changed....crazy!
I remember learning the following phrase in a business course in college:
"one's perception is one's reality - regardless of reality."
I think that somehow I've been living out this sentence.
As Kelli and I talked, I expected to hear stories from a seasoned pastor's wife who has "arrived." I expected Kelli to be completely at peace, completely comfortable in her role, and completely content. I mean, come on, she's been at this for 10 years - she should for sure be able to give me a time line for what comes next and at what point our lives will settle down and become 'normal.'
In reality - Kelli is very much in the same position I am. She is still struggling to figure out her role, she is still working out a balance between church life and family life, she is still hurting from painful relationships, she is still lonely, and...her eyes still well up when asked, "how are you?"
I couldn't believe it. Kelli Skinner, one of the wisest and kindest people I know, is in the same situation as me and feeling the same emotions as me.
You would think that I would be discouraged by this, but I'm not. In fact, I'm very excited about this....
Ever since we started planting, I have labeled certain days and certain seasons as either "I hate my life days" or "the-walls-are-caving-in-days." After talking with Kelli, I realized that my perspective has been wrong, that I have been misreading the situation all this time.
My walls have not been caving in, I have just been placed in a very narrow room. The second situation is far better. Caving walls will consume and crush me. A narrow room is just a narrow room. It may be uncomfortable and I may be claustrophobic at times, but I can adjust to it's size. I will be okay.
This has been a huge freeing lesson for me.
By simply changing my perspective and seeing rightly into my situation, I have found freedom. I can breathe now. I can let go of some of the fear that I've been hanging on to knowing that it will not devour me. The room is still narrow - my troubles didn't mysteriously go away - but I have a lot more freedom than before!
You may remember a man in the gospel of Mark who was given sight after being touched by Jesus. Jesus touched him once, and he could see but only slightly. Then, Jesus touched him a second time and he could see perfectly. (Mark 8:25)
My prayer for myself and for you is that we will continue to seek the Lord's hand on our eyes so that we can receive perfect vision. That because we have received Sight, we are no longer overcome by heartache, bitterness and fear - but instead, we are able to live in His freedom and thereby extend grace to help and mercy for those in need.....
No comments:
Post a Comment