MY LIFE COULD BE SO MUCH BETTER - a lie.

Oh goodness, here it is, another after-eleven-o'clock post!

As I mentioned last time, I want to start a post group/discussion on the "lies pastor's wives believe." I thought I'd start the with one that I've already confessed to......Self Pity was what I called it earlier, but it stems from the lie that MY LIFE COULD BE (and SHOULD be) SO MUCH BETTER!

When we started our church the summer of 2007, I had a 5 month old and a 21 month old. Our core team met in our home every Tuesday night. In addition to caring for these tiny children and somehow getting the entire house cleaned, I also cooked the meal for upwards of 18 adults. This, of course, entailed having to get to the grocery store that morning - with those two "precious" kids in tow - and it usually entailed atleast 2 trips because I would always forget the important ingredients the first time.

I won't try to sugar coat those days - they were brutal. When I look back, I think I was on the verge of a breakdown at times. It was during that season that I developed "I HATE MY LIFE" days. These were days, invariably on Tuesdays, that I truly convinced myself that I hated my life. Not that I was having a hard day, not that grocery shopping stunk, not that this was a bad week.....I truly-madly-deeply HATED my life.

Yay, Yay, YAY, those days are mostly behind me, Praise the Great High God! I did, however, create a habit during that season of talking to myself about all the ways that my life could be better - if we were doing something different, if I had married someone else, if I didn't have the two children, if I went back to work, IF -IF- IF- IF ONLY IF! It's a crazy and poisonous cycle to get into and, for a while, I really enjoyed the martyr that it created.

If you are in this cycle right now, please listen to me:
IT'S A LIE.
IT'S A LIE.
IT'S A HUGE, DANGEROUS, POISONOUS LIE!

I am so grateful that the Lord did not and does not allow me to linger in those thoughts anymore. He has shown me* that Self-Pity is a liar and an unwise choice of a friend. He has shown me the vast array of treasures that He has set before me. He has shown me that His is the most excellent way...hang in there. Go on a treasure hunt if you have to - trust that the Lord is always honest. He has promised good to you. Go on a treasure hunt to find those good things in your life. They are all around us, even us Pastor's Wives, if we'll just open our eyes to them and close our ears to the lies of the Evil one. It's a promise you can bank on.

"The theif comes only to steal, kill and destroy; I have come that they may have life, and have it to the full." John 10:10

Let's believe this.
Let's set our hope on this.
Let's set our thoughts on this.

How radically different could our situation be if we see it from the eyes of one who believes that Jesus Christ has come so that we may have abundant life!

I know this is getting long, so I'd like to close with something my pal Jen Bell (www.thewellcommunity.org) sent me this week. I asked some of my fellow Pastor's Wives pals to share some of their personal challenges during their first years as a PW. Here is a section of what she wrote.....

If you truly desire to be a support to him, you can't get obsessed with the question "what have YOU done for ME lately?". .. Brad told me to expect a tremendously busy first year.. MAYBE two.. well, here we are seven years later.. probably much busier than we were then.. so settle in, and learn to enjoy the ride. Find ways to connect with him in the midst all that he's juggling and be a place of refuge for him. (you'll know when you're doing a good job if he speaks sweetly about you in his sermons and he doesn't have to ask permission to use your latest blowup as an illustration : ) FOCUS on the benefits of your lot in life.. NOT the negatives.. don't compare yourself with your girlfriend who gets to lunch at the country club and hang out with her independently wealthy hubby all day playing golf.. compare yourself with the poor widow in Africa who has to walk five miles each morning to draw dirty water for her children to drink before she has to leave them to fend for themselves while she walks another 3 miles to the marketplace to sell trinkets totaling $1 for the week....

Amen and goodnight.